Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time

Airoports

Volim aerodrome.	I love airports.
osjećam se sigurno na aerodromu zahvaljujući visokom kalibru individualaca koji rade na rengenskom uređaju.	Feel safe in the airports thanks to the high caliber individuals we have working at X-ray security.
Šta kažete na tu skupinu razumno motiviranog ljudstva?	How 'bout this crack squad of savvy motivated personnel?
Način na koji želite organizirati službu sigurnosti na aerodromu, je da želite nisku, dobro popunjenu ženu na ulazu u uskoj uniformi.	The way you wanna setup your airport's security, is you want the short, heavy set women at the front with the skin tight uniform.
to je vaša prva crta odbrane.	That's your first line of defense.
želite te hlače tako uske da se patent otvori sam od sebe, da vidite metalne tange koje se bore za goli život.	You want those pants so tight the flap in front of the zipper has pulled itself open, you can see the metal tangs hanging on for dear life.
onda stavite torbe na pokretnu traku.	Then you put the bag on the conveyor belt.
prolaze kroz minijaturnu praonicu za torbe.	It goes through the little luggage car wash.
tada imate drugog genijalca na drugom kraju, koji gleda mali ekran rengena.	Then you have the other genius, down at the other end, looking at the little X-ray TV screen.
Einstain je izabran da stoji ispred x-zraka 14 sati na dan.	This Eistein was chosen to stand in front of X-rays 14 hours a day.
To mu je zanimanje.	It's his profession.
gledajući u taj ekran...	Looking in that thing...
pogledao sam u taj ekran.	I have looked in that TV screen.
ja ne mogu razabrati ni jednu stvar.	I cannot make out one object.
On je stajao tamo...	He's standing there...
Šta je to?	What is that?
Fen sa ciljnom optikom? To izgleda ok.	A hairdryer with a scope on it? That looks ok.
Idemo dalje. Neka vrsta voska za kuglanje?	Keep it moving. Some sort of bowling ball candle?
Da, nemam problema s time, samo... Znate, ne želimo stvarati red. I tako, odem na aerodromski WC.	Yeah, I got no problem with that, just... You know, we don't wanna hold up the line. So, I go to the bathroom in the airport.
Koja je baza sa tim umivaonocima? Ta da nam ne daju normalne odvrni-zavrni, normalne špine?	What is the story on the sinks in airport bathrooms That they will not give us a twist-it-on twist-it-off, human-style faucet?
Previše su rizične za opću populaciju?	Is that too risky for the general population?
Preopasne?	Too dangerous?
Moramo ugraditi jednoručne, s oprugom, zaguljene Alcatraz-stil špine.	We gotta install the one-handed, spring-loaded, pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style faucet.
Znate, onakve: Ej ovde imam malo vode Ej imam nekoliko kapi Šta oni misle da ćemo napraviti sa špinama?	You know, those ones you gotta go: Hey I got a little water there Hey I got a couple of drops. What is it they think we would do with a faucet?
Otvoriti ih do kraja, pobjeći na parkiralište, smijući se, gurkati se međusobno na grmiće?	Turn them all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes?
Idemo, voda ide, idemo! Otvorio sam je do kraja. Idiote!	Come on, the water's on, let's go! I turned it on full blast. You idiot!
Mi smo poslovni ljudi, propustit ćemo let. Koga briga Voda! Tako oni misle da ćemo se ponašati.	We're businessmen, we're gonna miss our plane. Who cares! Water! That's how they think we're gonna act.
Da li ljudi koji rade u dućanima na aerodromu uopće imaju pojma kakve su cijene bilo gdje drugdje u svijetu?	Do the people that work in these shops in the airport have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world?
Da, 14$ sendvič od tunjevine.	Yeah, $14 a tuna sandwich.

Mi mislimo da je to u redu. Toliko mi naplačujemo u našoj zemlji. Tada uđete u avion.	We think that's fair. That's what we charge in our country. Then you get on the plane.
Pilot, naravno, se mora obratiti preko razglasa.	The pilot of course always has to come on the PA system.
Tip je tako uzbuđen što je pilot, da ni sebe ne podnosi.	This guy is so excited about being a pilot, he can't even stand himself.
Pa, dignut ću ga do 20000-tak. Onda ću skrenuti lijevo kod Pittsburga. Onda desno kod Chicaga. I onda ću se spustit na 15000. Daje cijelu rutu, sve svoje poteze.	Well, I'm gonna take it up to about 20,000. Then I'm gonna make a left by Pittsburg. Then I'm gonna make a right by Chicago. And then I'm gonna bring it down to 15,000. He's giving the whole route, all his moves.
A mi odpozadi govorimo - Da, dobro. Znaš, radi već sta trebaš.	We're in the back going: Yeah, fine. You know, just do whatever the hell you gotta do.
Šta ja znam. Samo završi na kraju tamo gdje piše na karti. Da li ja njemu dosađujem s onim šta ja radim?	I don't know. Just end-up where it says on the ticket, really. Do I bother him with what I'm doing?
Kucajući na vrata kokpita: Sada jedem kikiriki. Da, to svi radimo ovdje iza. Mislio sam da trebate znati.	Knocking on the cockpit door: I'm having the peanuts now. Yeah, that's what we're doing back here. I thought I'd keep you posted.
Neću ih sada sve pojesti, samo nekoliko sada. Ne želim ih sve pojesti jer je tako veliko pakiranje. A onda stjuardese moraju izići.	I'm not gonna have them all now, I'm just gonna have a few. I don't wanna finish it because it's such a big bag. Then the stewardesses have to come out.
Moraju izvesti svoj mali show o sigurnosti.	They have to do their little emergency equipment show.
Znate, to što rade.	You know, that thing they do.
Jedna čita, druga odglumi.	One of them reads it, the other one acts it out.
Hej, imamo pojaseve i maske za kisik. Stvari za vas da ih koristite.	Hey, we have seatbelts and oxygen masks. Things for you to use.
pokazuju vam kako korstiti pojaseve, u slučaju da niste bili u autu od 1965.	They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.
Oh, podignete jednu od kopči! Pokušavao sam odvojiti metal. Mislio sam da to tako radi.	Oh, you lift up on the buckle! Oh! I was trying to break the metal apart. I thought that's how it works.
Htio sam pokušati iskidati dio tkanine pojasa. Mislio sam, samo da ga načnem... Onda uvijek pokazuju izlaze za nuždu, uvijek nekako neodređeno, zar ne?	I was gonna try and tear the fabric part of the belt. I thought if I could just get it started... Then they're always pointing out the emergency exits, always with that very vague point though, isn't it?
Gdje bi dovraga trebala biti ta mjesta?, rekli bi ste.	Where the hell would these places be?, would you say.
Avion je pod kutem od 90 stupnjeva, kosa vam gori, tražite ovakve stvari.	The plane's at a 90 degrees angle, your hair is on fire, you're looking for this.
Šta mislite kako će te se snaći za to?	How you think you're gonna do there?
Ona misli :Izaći ću prije tebe. Ti si mrtav, ti si mrtav, ja odoh. Onda uvijek moraju povući zastor od prvog razreda.	She's thinking: I'm getting out before you're getting out. You're dead, you're dead, I'm gone. Then they always have to close that first class curtain, too.
Uvijek vam daju mali pogled.	They always give you that little look.
Možda da ste malo više radili... Ne bih trebala ovo napraviti.	Maybe if you would have worked a little harder... I wouldn't have to do this.
To je minijaturni svijet u avionu, zar ne?	It's all a tiny world on the airplane, isn't it?
tamo je uvijek taj mali stol tamo, malo računalo, mala zbijena sjedala, mala hrana, mali pribor, male bočice pića, mali wc, mali umivaonik, malo ogledalo, mala špina.	There's always that little tiny table there, tiny computer, little cramped seats, tiny food, tiny utensils, tiny liquor bottles, tiny bathroom, tiny sink, tiny mirror, tiny faucet.
Pa, ima mali problemčić, biti će mala odgoda, malo ćemo kasniti.	So, there's a small problem, there's gonna be a slight delay, we're gonna be a little late.
Uvijek idem u wc u avionu, čak i kad ne trebam ići, moram ući tamo.	I always go in the airplane's bathroom, even if I don't have to go, I gotta go in there.
Lijepo je.	It's nice.
Kao vaš mali apartman u avionu, zar ne?	It's like your own little apartment on the plane, isn't it?
Uđete unutra, zaključate vrata, svjetla se upale za sekundu.	You go in there, lock the door, the light comes on after second.
Kao mala zabava iznenađenja.	It's like a little surprise party.
Ali uvijek sam impresioniran količinom opreme koju imaju unutra.	But I'm always impressed of the amount of equipment that they have in that place.

Mislim, mali je, ali imaju maramice, ručnike, ormare, police, maleni otvor za iskorištene brijače.	I mean it's little, but they got tissues, towels, closets, compartments, tiny slot for used razor blades.
Uvijek imaju to.	They always have that.
Tko se brije u avionu?	Who is shaving on the plane?
I toliko se brije da istroši britvicu?	And shaving so much they're using up razor blades?
Da li se to događa?	Is this what's happening?
Šta?	What?
Zar se vukodlak vozi avionom?	Is the wolf man flying in there, for Christ's sakes?
Tko se može toliko brijati?	Who could shave that much?

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