Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time

Jerry Seinfeld


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Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time 

Candy 


    Slatkiši su bili sav moj život kad sam bio dijete.     Candy was my whole life when I was a kid.
    Bilo je...     That was...
    Prvih 10 god. mog života, mislim da je jedina jasna misao koju sam imao bila je :UZMI SLATKIŠE To je bilo to.     First ten years of my life, I think the only clear thought I had was: GET CANDY! That was it.
     Obitelj, prijatelji, škola, to su bile samo prepreke na putu do slatkiša.      Family, friends, school, they were just obstacles in they way of the candy.
    Ovdje sam zbog slatkiša.     I'm out for the candy here.
    Jedina misao :Uzmi slatkiše! Uzmi slatkiše!     I'm just thinking: Get candy! Get candy!
    Zbog toga morate učiti djecu da ne uzimaju bombone od stranaca ako se igraju na igralištu, jer su takvi bonbon-idiot mozgovi...     That's why you have to teach kids not to take candy from a stranger if they're playing in the playground, because they're such candy idiot moron brains...
    Samo kažu :Ovaj čovjek ima slatkiše, idem s njim. Zbogom.     They're just: This man has candy, I'm going with him. Goodbye.
     Šta god mi se desi.      Whatever happens to me.
    Uzmi bombon, uzmi bombon... Ne idi!     Get candy, get candy... Don't go!
     Mučiti će te, oteti će te. Nema veze, ima Slatku Tajnu.      They'll torture you, they'll kidnap you. It doesn't matter, he has an 'Old Henry'.
    Riskirati ću. Uzmi bombon, uzmi bombon... Prvi put čujete za Noć vještica kao dijete vaš mozak uopće ne može obraditi tu informaciju.     I have to take that chance. Get candy, get candy... So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information.
    Vi mislite :Šta je to?     You're like: What is this?
     Šta si rekao? Šta si rekao o davanju slatkiša?      What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy?
    Tko daje slatkiše? Svi koje znamo dijele slatkiše? Zafrkavaš me?     Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy? Are you kidding me?
     Kada je to?      When is this happening?
    Gdje?     Where?
     Zašto?      Why?
     Vodi me sa sobom! Moram biti dio toga.      Take me with you! I gotta be a part of this.
    Uradit će sve što žele. Mogu obući to. Obući ću sve što trebam obući.     I'll do anything that they want. I can wear that. I'll wear anything I have to wear.
    Uradit ću sve što treba da dobijem bombone od tih budala. tako su glupi što besplatno dijele.     I'll do anything I'll have to do to get the candy from those fools that are so stupid they're giving it away.
    Prvih par godina sam sam pravio kostime, koji su naravno bili očajni: duh, hobit...     So, the first couple of years I made my own costumes which of course sucked: the ghost, the hobo...
    Onda, na kraju, treće godine, moleći roditelje dobio sam kostim Supermana.     Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents I've got the Superman Halloween costume, not surprisingly.
    Kartonska kutija, uradi sam gornji dio, maska u paketu.     Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included.
    Sjećate se gumice sa stražnje strane maske?     Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask?
    To je bio kvalitetni dio, zar ne?     That was a quality item there, wasn't it?
    Trajao je oko 10 sekundi prije nego je izletio iz one jeftine spajalice s kojom su ga spojili.     That was good about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
    Dođete do prvih vrata - Trik ili ... Pukla je.     You go to your first house: Trick or... Snap!
     Ne mogu vjerovati!     It broke.

    Čekajte me!      I don't believe it! Wait up, you guys!
     Moram je popraviti! Ejj!      I gotta fix it! Hey, wait up!
     pričekajte, pričekajte! Tako djeca govore.      Wait up! That's what kids say.
    Ne kažu Čekaj! Oni Kažu Pričekajte!     They don't say: Wait! They say: Wait up!
     Ejj, pričekajte me! Jer kad si malen, život ti je gore, budućnost ti je gore, sve što želiš je gore.      Hey, wait up! 'Cause when you're little, your life is up, the future is up, everything you want is up.
    pričekaj, sačekaj, začepi mama, počisti, pusti me još malo Za roditelje, naravno, sve je upravo obrnuto.     Wait up, hold up, shut up. Mamma, clean up, Let me stay up. For parents, of course, everything is just the opposite.
    Sve je dolje.     Everything is down.
    samo se smiri, uspori, siđi dolje sjedni dolje, spusti to dolje I tako sam imao svoj mali kostim, bio sam psihički spreman, pripremao sam sebe, nisam probavao kostim prije maškara.     Just calm down, Slow down, Come down here Sit down, Put that down So I had my little costume, I was physically ready, I was preparing myself, I did not try on the costume prior to Halloween.
    Sjećate li se...     Do you remember...
    Ovo je sitnica ali...     This is an obscure one but...
    Sa strane na kutiji, sjećam se sa svog supermen kostima, zaista je pisalo: Ne pokušavajte letjeti!     On the side of the box, I remember from my Superman costume, it actually said: Do not attempt to fly!
    To su napisali kao upozorenje jer su djeca oblačila kostime i...     They printed that as a warning 'cause kids would put it on and...
    skakla s krovova.     going off the roofs.
    Sviđa mi se misao o klincu koji je dovoljno glup da stvarno misli da je Superman ali dovoljno pametan da provjeri šta piše na kutiji prije nego skoči s krova.     I love the idea of the kid who's stupid enough to think he actually is Superman but smart enough to check that box before he goes off the roof.
    Daj da vidim da li šta kaže o tome da sam Superman... Oo, samo sekund, ja...     Let me see if it says anything about me being Superman... Oh, wait a second here, I...
    Pa, bilo kako bilo, ali ako su moje nade bile visoke, mislio sam da je ovo vjerovatno upravo onaj kostim kojeg i sam Superman nosi.     So, anyway, but if my hopes were up I was thinking that this is probably the same exact costume that Superman wears himself.
    Kada obučete sve djelove, nije baš super fit kako ste se nadali.     When you put these things on, it's not exactly the super-fit that you are hoping for.
    više liči na Supermanovu piđamu, baš tako izgleda.     It looks more like Superman's pyjamas, that's what it looks like.
    Sav je nekako širok i lelujav.     It's all kinda loose and flowing.
    izrez za vrat nekako dođe do ovdje..     The neck line kinda comes down about there...
    opuštena mala trakaica na leđima.     flimsy little ribbon string in the back.
    Plus,ionako me mama natjera da obučem zimski kaput preko kostima.     Plus my mother makes me wear my winter coat over the costume anyway.
    Ne sjećam se da je Superman nosio kaput.     I don't recall Superman wearing a jacket.
    na kakav sam ja imao: jeftin, četvrtast, falše krzno.     Not like I had: cheap __quarteroid__, phony fur.
    Čovječe, ja sam Superman, ali je malo hladno vani i drago mi je da imam ovaj jeftin, mali kaput desetogodišnjaka.     Boy, I'm Superman but it's a little chilly out and I'm glad I have this cheap little 10 year old kids jacket.
    I tako idem u maškare, ali gumica s maske stalno puca i sve je kraća i kraća.     So I'm going out trick-or-treating but the mask's rubber band keeps breaking and keeps getting shorter.
    Popravljam je, sve me više steže po licu.     I'm fixing it, it's getting tighter and tighter on my face.
    znate, kada vam se počne zarezivati u oči, i vi...     You know, when it starts slicing into your eyeballs there and you...
    pokušavate disati kroz onu malu rupu...     you're trying to breathe through that little hole...
    sve se više znojite.     getting all sweaty.

    Ne vidim, ne mogu disati, ali moramo nastaviti, moramo dobiti slatkiše. I tako jedno pola sata pa skinete masku i kažete Ma dovraga s njom.     I can't see, I can't breathe but we gotta keep going, we gotta get the candy. And a half an hour into it you just take the mask: Oh, the hell with it.
    Din-don!     Bing-bong!
    Da, ja sam, dajte mi slatkiša. Je, Superman sam, pogledajte nogavice, šta to vas briga?     Yeah, it's me, give me the candy. Yeah, I'm Superman, look at the pants legs, what do you care?
    Gledajući unatrag na te posljednje godine maškara već ste malo postali prestari za to.     Looking at those last years of trick-or-treating you're getting a little too old for it.
    I dalje vani, prepuni emocija.     Still out there, going through the motions.
    Din-don!     Bing-bong!
    Idemo gospođo, brže malo. Maškare, zvonce na vratima, slatkiši, ubrzajmo i ... Otvarali su vrata... uvijek vas pitaju ista glupa pitanja: Šta bi ti trebao biti?     Come on lady, let's go. Halloween, doorbells, candy, let's pick it up and... They come at the door... they always ask you the same stupid questions: What are you supposed to be?
    Trebao bi biti gotov do sada.     I'm supposed to be done by now.
    Možete li požutiti vas tri mušketira. Imam 18 kuća u kvartu, srce.     You wanna move it along the three musketeers. I got 18 houses on this block, sweetheart.
    Samo ubacite u torbu, mi idemo dalje.     Just hit the bag, we hit the road.
    Tako to funkcionira. Ponekad imaju onu malu bijelu torbu, zavrnutu na vrhu...     That's the way it works. Sometimes they have that little white bag twisted on the top...
    Odmah znate da su to bezvezni slatkiši.     You know that's gonna be some crap candy.
    Nemaju službenu oznaku maškara na sebi.     Doesn't have the official Halloween markings on it.
    Staniti gospođo.     Hold it, lady.
     Samo sekund.      Wait a second.
     Šta je ovo?      What is this?
    Narančasti kolačić u obliku kikirikija? Učinite mi uslugu, zadržite ga. Imamo ispunjenu kvotu.     The orange marshmallow shaped like a peanut? Do me a favor, you keep that one. We have all the doorstops we need already.
    Hvala vam. Ove godine uzimamo samo poznate marke slatkiša. hrana je tako komplicirana kad si odrastao...     Thank you. We're going for name candy only this year. Food is so complicated as an adult...


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