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| Inače sam samac, nema drugih mamaka zakačenih s mnom. | I'm a single guy, by the way, there are no other guys attached to me. |
| Puno vam hvala. Hvala vam. I ja vas volim. | Thank you very much. Thank you. I love you, too. |
| Ali da li imam potrebu da se viđam s drugima. | But I do feel the need to see other people. |
| Bio sam nekako angažiran prije 10-tak godina. | I was kinda engaged about 10 or so years ago. |
| Nisam se htio ženiti, to je bilo nabliže što sam došao. | Didn't wanna get married, that was the closest I got. |
| Mogu vam ovo reći: ako ste angažirani i ne želite se ženiti malkce je napeto. | I can tell you this: if you're engaged and you don't wanna get married it's a little tense. |
| Slično je kao prvi uspon na toboganu ali nekao se ne želite voziti... | It's like you're on that first hill of the roller-coaster but you don't really wanna go on the ride... |
| ide click-click, click-click... | going click-click, click-click... |
| Bio sam kum jednom na vjenčanju i bilo je skroz dobro. | I was best man at a wedding one time and that was pretty good. |
| Simpa naziv, mislim... | Pretty good title, I thought... |
| Kum. Mislim da malo pretjeruju. | 'Best man' I thought it was a bit much. |
| Mislim, imamo mladoženju i zgodnog kuma. | I thought we had the groom and the 'pretty good man'. |
| To je više nego dovoljno. | That's more than enough. |
| Ako sam ja best man (kum), zašto se udaje za njega? | If I am the best man, why is she marrying him? |
| Morao sam nositi odijelo koje, uvjeren sam, izmislila žena. | I had to wear the tuxedo which, I am convinced, was invented by a woman. |
| Pa, svi su isti, onda ih možemo sve isto obući. Odijelo ima funkciju i kao sigurnosna oprema za mladenku... | Well, they're all the same, we might as well dress them all the same. The tuxedo also functions as a wedding safety device for the bride... |
| u slučaju da mladoženja odustane, svi se mogu samo pomaknuti za korak i ceremonija se nastavlja. | ...in case the groom chickens out, everybody could just take one step over and the ceremony continues. |
| Zato ne govore: Uzimaš li David Williamsa za svog vjernog oženjenog muža? Kažu: Uzimaš li OVOG čovjeka? | That's why they don't say: Do you take David Williams to be your faithfully wedded husband? They say: Do you take THIS MAN? |
| Ali, muškarci i žene se neće nikad razumijeti, svi to znamo. | But, men and women will never understand each other, we all know that. |
| To se neće nikad desiti, zaboravite to. | It's just not gonna happen, just forget it. |
| Znam da je neću razumijeti žene. | I know I will not understand women. |
| Znam da ja nikad neću moći razumijeti kako žene mogu uzeti vrući vosak izliti ga na bedro i iščupati dlačice iz korjena te se i dalje plašiti pauka. | I know I will never be able to understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax pour it on her upper thigh and rip the hair out by the root and still be afraid of a spider. |
| Neću više gubiti vrijeme razmišljajući o tome. | I'm not spending anymore time working on that. |
| I znam da žene ne razumiju muškarce. | And I know women don't understand men. |
| Znam da ima žena koje me upravo gledaju pitajući se: šta se događa u tom njegovom malom mozgu? Kladim se da mogu manipulirati s tim mozgom. | I know there are women looking at me right now wondering: what goes on in that little brain of his? I bethca I could manipulate that brain. |
| Kladim se da možete. | I betcha you could. |
| kladim se da bi žene željele znati šta muškarci uistinu misle... | I betcha women would like to know what men really think... |
| istinu, stvarnu istinu. | the truth, the honest truth. |
| Želite znati šta muškarci uistinu misle? | You wanna know what men are really thinking? |
| Jer vam mogu reći. | 'Cause I could tell you. |
| Želite li znati? | Would you like to know? |
| U redu, reći ću vam. | Alright, I'll tell you. |
| Ništa. | Nothing. |
| Ne mislimo mi ništa. | We're not thinking anything. |
| Samo hodamo uokolo, gledajući okolo. | We're just walking around, looking around. |
| Samo to je prirodno za muškarce. | This is the only natural inclination of men. |
| Samo da nekako provjeravamo okolinu. | To just kinda check stuff out. |
| Radimo zato jer nas prisiljavaju, ali van toga, ovo je jedina stvar koju želimo raditi. | We work because they force us to, but other than that, this is really the only thing we wanna do. |
| Volimo žene, želimo žene. | We like women, we want women. |
| Ali to je otprilike krajnji naš domet. | But that's pretty much as far as we've thought. |
| Zato trubimo u autima, dovikujemo sa gradilišta... | That's why we're honking car horns, yelling from construction sites... |
| To su nam dosada najbolje ideje. | These are the best ideas we've had so far. |
| Trubljenje iz auta me zadivljuje! | Honking the car horn amazes me! |
| To mora da je baš zadnja živa moždana stanica u glavi koja se toga sjeti. | This is gotta be just the last living brain cell in this guys skull that comes up with this idea. |
| Ona je na ulici, on je u autu. | She's on the street, he's in the car. |
| Beep-beep. | Beep-beep. |
| Mislim da sam bio jasan. Šta bi ona trebala napraviti? | I think I made my point. What is she supposed to do? |
| Izuti potpetice i potrčati za autom? | Kick off the heel, start running after the car? |
| Uhvatiti se za branik? | Grab on to the bumper? |
| Auto se zaustavi... | The car comes to a stop... |
| Dobro da si zatrubio. Nisam ni slutila kako osjećaš. Zašto se muškarci ovako ponašaju? | It's a good thing you honked. I had no idea how you felt. Why do men behave in these ways? |
| Zašto smo nepristojni, gadljivi, opijamo se, padamo... Zašto smo ovakvi? | Why are we rude, obnoxious, getting drunk, falling down, peeling rubber, making kissing Why are we like this? |
| Znam što vi dame mislite. | I know what you ladies are thinking... |
| Ne, ne, ne moj tip. | No, no, not my guy. |
| Radim s njim, napreduje. Ne, nije. | I'm working with him, he's coming along. No, he's not. |
| Ne ide on nigdje. | He's not coming anywhere. |
| Mi, muškarci, znamo: bez obzira kako nepristojni bili uvijek nekako završimo s ženom. | We, men, know: no matter how poorly we behave, it seems we will somehow end up with women anyway. |
| Osvrnite se oko sebe. | Look around this room. |
| Pogledajte sve muškarce koje vidite s lijepim damama. | Look at all the men you see with lovely women. |
| mislite li da su specijalni? | Do you think these are special men? |
| Daroviti? | Gifted men? |
| Jedni jedini? | One of a kind men? |
| Svi su oni isti dripci kao i ovi o kojima govorim. | They're the same jerks as any of the ones that I'm talking about. |
| Ide im sasvim dobro. | They're doing just fine. |
| Muškarci, kao organizacija, dobijaju više žena nego bilo koja druga grupa drugdje u svijetu. | Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world today. |
| Gdje god bile žene, imamo muške koji upravo sada odmjeravaju situaciju. | Wherever women are, we have men looking into the situation right now. |
| Istrazili smo planet u potrazi za ženama. | We explored the Earth looking for women. |
| Čak smo išli na Mjesec samo da bi vidjeli ima li tamo žena. | We even went to the Moon just to see if there were any women there. |
| Zato smo ponjeli maleni auto. | That's why we brought that little car. |
| Zašto ponjeti auto, ako ne postoji šansa za izlazak? | Why would you bring a car, unless there's some chance of going on a date? |
| Kojeg su đavla radili s autom na Mjesecu? | What the hell were they doing with a car on the goddamn Moon? |
| Već si na Mjesecu! | You're on the Moon already! |
| Zar to nije dovoljno? | Isn't that far enough? |
| Ne postoji veća muška ideja u povijesti svemira od: Zašto ne odletimo do Mjeseca i malo se provozamo? | There is no more male idea in the history of the universe than: why don't we fly up to the Moon and drive around? |
| To je prava bit muškog razmišljanja. | That is the essence of male thinking right there. |
| Svi muškarci za sebe misle da su mali super-heroji u svom svijetu. | All men kinda think of themselves like low-level super-heroes in their own world. |
| Ovo vam ne bih trebao govoriti. | I'm not even supposed to be telling you this. |
| Ali kada odrastaju i čitaju o Betmenu, Supermenu, Spidermenu... | But when men are growing up and are reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman... |
| to nisu maštanja. | these aren't fantasies. |
| To su izbori. | These are options. |
| Ovo je duboka istina muške misli. | This is the deep inner secret truth of the male mind. |
| Dati ću vam savršen primjer o čemu govorim. | I'll give you a perfect example of what I'm talking about. |
| Da li ste ikad vidjeli kako muški vozi madrac na krovu auta ? | Did you ever see a guy, out on the highway, moving a mattress tied to the roof of the car? |
| Bez greške ga rukom kroz prozor pridržava. | Without fail, he's got the arm out of the window holding the mattress. |
| Ovo je klasični muški-idiot, super-heroj način razmišljanja. | This is classic male idiot super-hero thinking. |
| taj idiot misli da ako vjetar uhvati taj veliki madrac pri 120 km/h Imam ga, imam ga! | This moron believes that if the wind catches this huge rectangle at 70 mph... I got it! I got it! |
| Ne brinite se. Koristim ruku! Ali, siguran sam da upravo sada ima puno parova na spoju u dvorani... | Don't worry about it. I'm using my arm! But I'm sure there're many dates going on in this room right now... |
| Izlasci nisu lagani. | Dating is not easy. |
| Šta je izlazak nego razgovor za posao koji traje cijelu večer? | What is a date really but a job interview that lasts all night? |
| Jedina razlika između izlaska i razgovora za posao je u ne baš puno razgovora za posao postoji šansa da na kraju završite goli. | The only difference between a date and a job interview is in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. |
| Pa Bille, šef misli da si ti čovjek za posao, zašto se ne skineš i upoznaš neke od ljudi s kojima ćeš raditi. | Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the position, why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be working with. |
| Sex ne čini ništa lakšim. | Sex doesn't make anything any easier. |
| Samo čini stvari kompliciranijim. | It only makes it more complicated. |
| Žene imaju dva tipa orgazma : stvarni i oni koje same izmisle. | Women have two types of orgasms: the actual ones and the ones that they make up on their own. |
| I ja vam mogu dati muški pogled na ovo. | And I can give you the male point of view on this. |
| Koji je : nama to ne smeta. | Which is: we're fine with it. |
| Radite što god vas je volja. Muškarcima, sex je ionako kao sudar. | You do whatever the hell it is you gotta do. To a man, sex is like a car accident anyway. |
| I prokužiti ženski orgazam je kao da vas pitaju : Šta si vidio kad si izgubio kontrolu nad autom? Pa, sjećam se da sam čuo puno škripećih zvukova... | And determining a female orgasm is like being asked: What did you see after the car went out of control? Well, I remember I heard a lot of screeching noises... |
| U jednom trenutko sam gledao u krivom smjeru... i na kraju, tijelo mi je bilo odbačeno. | I was facing the wrong way at one point... and in the end, my body was thrown clear. |