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| 13 | 13 |
| Vratio sam se peške skroz do hotela. Četrdeset i jedan prekrasni blok. Nisam to uradio zato što mi se šetalo ili nešto. Više zbog toga što mi se nije opet ulazilo u neki taksi i izlazilo iz njega. | I WALKED all the way back to the hotel. Forty-one gorgeous blocks. I didn't do it because I felt like walking or anything. It was more because I didn't feel like getting in and out of another taxicab. |
| Dojadi vam ponekad da se vozite taksijem, isto kao što vam dojadi da se vozite liftom. Najednom, dođe vam da hodate, ma koliko to bilo daleko ili visoko. Kad sam bio dete, često sam se peo stepenicama sve do našeg stana. Dvanaest spratova. | Sometimes you get tired of riding in taxicabs the same way you get tired riding in elevators. All of a sudden, you have to walk, no matter how far or how high up. When I was a kid, I used to walk all the way up to our apartment very frequently. Twelve stories. |
| Ne biste čak ni znali da je uopšte padao sneg. Na trotoarima ga gotovo nije ni bilo. Ali bilo je užasno hladno, pa sam izvadio iz džepa onu crvenu lovačku kapu i stavio je na glavu - bilo mi je potpuno svejedno kako izgledam. Čak sam spustio i klapne za uši. | You wouldn't even have known it had snowed at all. There was hardly any snow on the sidewalks. But it was freezing cold, and I took my red hunting hat out of my pocket and put it on―I didn't give a damn how I looked. I even put the earlaps down. |
| Poželeo sam da saznam ko mi je u Pensiju zdipio rukavice, jer su mi se ruke smrzavale. Nije da bih bogzna šta uradio u vezi s tim, čak i da sam saznao. Ja sam inače velika kukavica. | I wished I knew who'd swiped my gloves at Pencey, because my hands were freezing. Not that I'd have done much about it even if I had known. I'm one of these very yellow guys. |
| Trudim se da to ne pokazujem, ali takav sam. | I try not to show it, but I am. For instance, if I'd found out at Pencey who'd stolen my gloves, I probably would've gone down to the crook's room and said, "Okay. |
| Na primer, da sam otkrio ko mi je u Pensiju ukrao rukavice, verovatno bih otišao do sobe tog lopova i rekao mu: "Dobro, kako bi bilo da mi daš rukavice?" Onda bi lopov koji ih je ukrao verovatno rekao, krajnje nevinim glasom: "Kakve rukavice?" Šta bih verovatno uradio posle toga - otvorio bih njegov plakar i pronašao ih negde. | How 'bout handing over those gloves?" Then the crook that had stolen them probably would've said, his voice very innocent and all, "What gloves?" Then what I probably would've done, I'd have gone in his closet and found the gloves somewhere. |
| Sakrivene, recimo, u njegovim prokletim kaljačama ili negde. Izvukao bih rukavice, pokazao ih i rekao mu: "Znači, ove proklete rukavice su tvoje?" Onda bi me lopov verovatno pogledao onim krajnje dvoličnim, nevinim pogledom i rekao: "Nikad u životu nisam video te rukavice. Ako su tvoje, uzmi ih. | Hidden in his goddam galoshes or something, for instance. I'd have taken them out and showed them to the guy and said, "I suppose these are your goddam gloves?" Then the crook probably would've given me this very phony, innocent look, and said, "I never saw those gloves before in my life. If they're yours, take 'em. |
| Meni te stvari ne trebaju." Onda bih ja verovatno samo stajao tu, jedno pet minuta. Držao bih proklete rukavice i sve, ali osećao bih kako bi trebalo da mlatnem tipa po njušci ili nešto - da mu polomim prokletu vilicu. Međutim, ne bih imao hrabrosti za to. | I don't want the goddam things." Then I probably would've just stood there for about five minutes. I'd have the damn gloves right in my hand and all, but I'd feel I ought to sock the guy in the jaw or something―break his goddam jaw. Only, I wouldn't have the guts to do it. |
| Samo bih stajao tu, pokušavajući da izgledam opasno. Šta bih možda uradio - možda bih rekao nešto vrlo oštro i arogantno, da ga iznerviram - umesto da ga mlatnem po njušci. | I'd just stand there, trying to look tough. What I might do, I might say something very cutting and snotty, to rile him up― instead of socking him in the jaw. |
| Sve u svemu, ako bih mu i rekao nešto vrlo oštro i arogantno, on bi verovatno ustao, prišao mi i rekao: "Slušaj, Kolfilde. | Anyway if I did say something very cutting and snotty, he'd probably get up and come over to me and say, "Listen, Caulfield. |
| Tvrdiš li možda da sam lopov?" A onda, umesto da mu kažem: "Nego šta si, skote lopovski!" sve što bih verovatno rekao bilo bi: "Znam samo da su moje rukavice bile u tvojim prokletim kaljačama." Njemu bi onda bilo apsolutno jasno da neću da ga mlatnem i verovatno bi rekao: "Slušaj. | Are you calling me a crook?" Then, instead of saying, "You're goddam right I am, you dirty crooked bastard!" all I probably would've said would be, "All I know is my goddam gloves were in your goddam galoshes." Right away then, the guy would know for sure that I wasn't going to take a sock at him, and he probably would've said, "Listen. |
| Da raščistimo nešto. Tvrdiš li možda da sam lopov?" Onda bih ja verovatno rekao: "Niko ni za koga ne tvrdi da je lopov. Znam samo da su moje rukavice bile u tvojim prokletim kaljačama." I tako bi moglo satima. | Let's get this straight. Are you calling me a thief?" Then I probably would've said, "Nobody's calling anybody a thief. All I know is my gloves were in your goddam galoshes." It could go on like that for hours. |
| Na kraju bih otišao iz njegove sobe, ni ne pokušavši da ga mlatnem. Verovatno bih sišao u klozet, krišom pušio cigaretu i pravio se surov pred ogledalom. Sve u svemu, to je ono o čemu sam razmišljao čitavim putem natrag do hotela. Uopšte nije zabavno biti kukavica. | Finally, though, I'd leave his room without even taking a sock at him. I'd probably go down to the can and sneak a cigarette and watch myself getting tough in the mirror. Anyway, that's what I thought about the whole way back to the hotel. It's no fun to be yellow. |
| Možda ja i nisam totalna kukavica. Ne znam. Mislim da sam možda samo delimično kukavica, a delimično tip koga baš briga kad izgubi rukavice. Jedan od mojih problema je što se nikad preterano ne uzbuđujem kad izgubim nešto - izluđivao sam majku kao dete. | Maybe I'm not all yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yellow and partly the type that doesn't give much of a damn if they lose their gloves. One of my troubles is, I never care too much when I lose something―it used to drive my mother crazy when I was a kid. |
| Neki likovi provode čitave dane tražeći nešto što su izgubili, a ja kao da nikad nisam imao nešto za čim bih preterano žalio ako bi se to izgubilo. Možda sam zato delimično kukavica. Ali to i nije neko opravdanje. Najozbiljnije. | Some guys spend days looking for something they lost. I never seem to have anything that if I lost it I'd care too much. Maybe that's why I'm partly yellow. It's no excuse, though. It really isn't. |
| Pre svega, uopšte ne bi trebalo biti kukavica. Ako treba da mlatneš nekoga po njušci, i ako si kao raspoložen za to, treba to i uraditi. Međutim, ja jednostavno nisam stvoren za to. | What you should be is not yellow at all. If you're supposed to sock somebody in the jaw, and you sort of feel like doing it, you should do it. I'm just no good at it, though. |
| Radije bih gurnuo tipa kroz prozor ili mu odrubio glavu sekirom nego da ga mlatnem po njušci. Mrzim tuču pesnicama. | I'd rather push a guy out the window or chop his head off with an ax than sock him in the jaw. I hate fist fights. |
| Ne smeta mi preterano ako dobijam udarce - iako ne ludujem baš za tim, naravno - ali ono što me najviše plaši u takvoj tuči je lice drugog tipa. Ne mogu da podnesem da gledam njegovo lice, u tome je moj problem. | I don't mind getting hit so much―although I'm not crazy about it, naturally―but what scares me most in a fist fight is the guy's face. I can't stand looking at the other guy's face, is my trouble. |
| Ne bi bilo tako strašno kad bismo obojica imali neki povez preko očiju ili nešto. Čudna vrsta kukavičluka, kad čovek malo bolje razmisli, ali jeste kukavičluk. | It wouldn't be so bad if you could both be blindfolded or something. It's a funny kind of yellowness, when you come to think of it, but it's yellowness, all right. |
| Ne zavaravam sebe. Što sam više razmišljao o tim rukavicama i svom kukavičluku, postajao sam sve depresivniji, pa sam rešio, dok sam tako hodao i sve, da svratim negde na piće. | I'm not kidding myself. The more I thought about my gloves and my yellowness, the more depressed I got, and I decided, while I was walking and all, to stop off and have a drink somewhere. |
| Popio sam samo tri pića kod Ernija, a nisam čak ni ispio poslednje. Ako nešto stvarno imam, to je neviđen kapacitet. | I'd only had three drinks at Ernie's, and I didn't even finish the last one. One thing I have, it's a terrific capacity. |
| Mogu da pijem čitavu noć a da se uopšte ne vidi na meni, samo ako sam raspoložen za to. Jednom smo, u Hutonu, taj učenik Rejmond Goldfarb i ja kupili flašu viskija i popili ga jedne subote uveče u kapeli, gde niko nije mogao da nas vidi. | I can drink all night and not even show it, if I'm in the mood. Once, at the Whooton School, this other boy, Raymond Goldfarb, and I bought a pint of Scotch and drank it in the chapel one Saturday night, where nobody'd see us. |
| On se usvinjio, ali na meni jedva da se videlo. Postao sam samo krajnje opušten i nonšalantan. Povratio sam pre odlaska u krevet, ali nisam u suštini morao - naterao sam sebe. | He got stinking, but I hardly didn't even show it. I just got very cool and nonchalant. I puked before I went to bed, but I didn't really have to―I forced myself. |
| Sve u svemu, pre nego što sam stigao do hotela, krenuo sam da uđem u neku rupu od bara, ali su iz njega su izašla dva mrtva pijana tipa koji su hteli da saznaju gde je ulaz u podzemnu. | Anyway, before I got to the hotel, I started to go in this dumpy-looking bar, but two guys came out, drunk as hell, and wanted to know where the subway was. |
| Jedan od njih, neki kubanski lik, neprestano mi je dahtao svoj odvratni zadah u lice dok sam mu objašnjavao kuda treba da ide. Na kraju nisam čak ni ušao u prokleti bar. Samo sam se vratio u hotel. | One of them was this very Cuban-looking guy, and he kept breathing his stinking breath in my face while I gave him directions. I ended up not even going in the damn bar. I just went back to the hotel. |
| Foaje je bio potpuno prazan. Bazdio je na pedeset miliona ugašenih tompusa i sve. Nije mi se spavalo ili nešto, ali nekako sam se mizerno osećao. Gotovo sam poželeo da me nema. | The whole lobby was empty. It smelled like fifty million dead cigars. It really did. I wasn't sleepy or anything, but I was feeling sort of lousy. Depressed and all. I almost wished I was dead. |
| A onda sam se, iz čista mira, uvalio u čitavu tu gužvu. | Then, all of a sudden, I got in this big mess. |
| Samo što sam ušao u lift, liftboj mi je rekao: "Je l' te zanima neki provod, šefe? Ili si možda krenuo na spavanje?" | The first thing when I got in the elevator, the elevator guy said to me, "Innarested in having a good time, fella? Or is it too late for you?" |
| "Kako to mislite?" rekoh. Nisam znao na šta misli. "Je l' te zanima da opališ nešto noćas?" | "How do you mean?" I said. I didn't know what he was driving at or anything. "Innarested in a little tail t'night?" |
| "Ko? Ja?" rekoh. Što je bio vrlo glup odgovor, ali ko se ne bi zbunio kad mu neko iz čista mira postavi takvo pitanje. | "Me?" I said. Which was a very dumb answer, but it's quite embarrassing when somebody comes right up and asks you a question like that. |
| "Koliko ti je godina, šefe?" rekao je tip. | "How old are you, chief?" the elevator guy said. |
| "Zašto?" rekoh. "Dvadeset dve." | "Why?" I said. "Twenty-two." |
| "A-ha. I, šta kažeš na to? Je l' te zanima? Pet kinti metak. Petnaest kinti ćelu noć." Pogledao je na sat. "Do podne. Pet kinti metak, petnaest do podne." | "Uh huh. Well, how 'bout it? Y'innarested? Five bucks a throw. Fifteen bucks the whole night." He looked at his wrist watch. "Till noon. Five bucks a throw, fifteen bucks till noon." |
| "Važi", rekoh. To je bilo protiv mojih principa i sve, ali toliko sam bio potišten da nisam čak ni mislio. U tome je sva nevolja. Kad je čovek toliko potišten, nije čak u stanju ni da misli. | "Okay," I said. It was against my principles and all, but I was feeling so depressed I didn't even think. That's the whole trouble. When you're feeling very depressed, you can't even think. |
| "Važi šta? Metak ili do podne? Moram da znam." | "Okay what? A throw, or till noon? I gotta know." |
| "Samo metak." | "Just a throw." |
| "Može. U kojoj si sobi?" | "Okay, what room ya in?" |
| Pogledao sam onu crvenu stvar sa brojem na njoj, na mom ključu. "Dvanaest-dvadeset dva", rekoh. Već sam se nekako pokajao što sam se upustio u čitavu akciju, ali bilo je prekasno. | I looked at the red thing with my number on it, on my key. "Twelve twenty-two," I said. I was already sort of sorry I'd let the thing start rolling, but it was too late now. |
| "Dobro. Poslaću ti malu za desetak minuta." Otvorio je vrata pa sam izašao. | "Okay. I'll send a girl up in about fifteen minutes." He opened the doors and I got out. |
| "Ej, da li je bar zgodna?" upitah. "Neću neku olupinu." | "Hey, is she good-looking?" I asked him. "I don't want any old bag." |
| "Ma koja olupina. Nema da brineš, šefe." | "No old bag. Don't worry about it, chief." |
| "Kome ću da platim?" | "Who do I pay?" |
| "Njoj", rekao je. "Idemo, šefe." Zatvorio je vrata, bukvalno meni u lice. | "Her," he said. "Let's go, chief." He shut the doors, practically right in my face. |
| Otišao sam u sobu i pokvasio kosu, ali teško je u suštini očešljati tako kratku kosu. Onda sam proverio da li mi dah bazdi od tolikih cigareta i viskija sa sodom koje sam popio kod Ernija. | I went to my room and put some water on my hair, but you can't really comb a crew cut or anything. Then I tested to see if my breath stank from so many cigarettes and the Scotch and sodas I drank at Ernie's. |
| Dovoljno je da staviš dlan ispod usta, tako da se dah odbija ka nozdrvama. Činilo se da ne bazdi mnogo, ali svejedno sam oprao zube. | All you do is hold your hand under your mouth and blow your breath up toward the old nostrils. It didn't seem to stink much, but I brushed my teeth anyway. |
| Onda sam ponovo promenio košulju. Znao sam da ne moram toliko da se lickam ili nešto za neku prostitutku, ali tako sam kao imao čime da se bavim. Bio sam pomalo nervozan. Počeo sam prilično da se ložim i sve, ali svejedno sam bio nervozan. | Then I put on another clean shirt. I knew I didn't have to get all dolled up for a prostitute or anything, but it sort of gave me something to do. I was a little nervous. I was starting to feel pretty sexy and all, but I was a little nervous anyway. |
| Ja sam nevin, ako baš hoćete da znate. Ozbiljno. Bilo je nekoliko prilika da izgubim nevinost i sve, ali nikada još nisam stigao dotle. Uvek se nešto desi. | If you want to know the truth, I'm a virgin. I really am. I've had quite a few opportunities to lose my virginity and all, but I've never got around to it yet. Something always happens. |
| Na primer, ako si kod devojke u kući, njeni se uvek vrate u pogrešno vreme - ili se bojiš da ne naiđu. Ili, ako si na zadnjem sedištu nečijeg auta, napred uvek sedi neko - nečija devojka, mislim - koja večito hoće da zna šta se dešava u svakom delu prokletog auta. | For instance, if you're at a girl's house, her parents always come home at the wrong time―or you're afraid they will. Or if you're in the back seat of somebody's car, there's always somebody's date in the front seat―some girl, I mean―that always wants to know what's going on all over the whole goddam car. |
| Mislim na neku devojku koja se stalno okreće da vidi šta se, kog đavola, dešava pozadi. Sve u svemu, uvek se nešto desi. | I mean some girl in front keeps turning around to see what the hell's going on. Anyway, something always happens. |
| Ipak, nekoliko puta sam bio prilično blizu da to izvedem. Posebno jednom prilikom, sećam se. | I came quite close to doing it a couple of times, though. One time in particular, I remember. |
| Nešto je, međutim, pošlo naopako - više se čak i ne sećam šta. Problem je, kad god si blizu da to izvedeš s nekom devojkom - koja nije prostitutka ili nešto, mislim - što ti ona neprestano govori da prestaneš. | Something went wrong, though―I don't even remember what any more. The thing is, most of the time when you're coming pretty close to doing it with a girl―a girl that isn't a prostitute or anything, I mean―she keeps telling you to stop. |
| Glavni problem kod mene je što ja i prestanem. Mnogi ih ignorišu. Ali to je jače od mene. Nikad ne znaš da li one stvarno žele da prestaneš, ili su samo premrle od straha, ili ti govore da prestaneš samo da bi, ako produžiš to kraja, ti bio kriv, a ne one. | The trouble with me is, I stop. Most guys don't. I can't help it. You never know whether they really want you to stop, or whether they're just scared as hell, or whether they're just telling you to stop so that if you do go through with it, the blame'll be on you, not them. |
| Kako god okreneš, ja uvek prestanem. Stvar je u tome što mi ih bude žao. Mislim, kad se neko vreme ljubakaš s njima, stvarno možeš da vidiš kako gube glavu. Kad se devojka stvarno napali, onda ostane potpuno bez mozga. | Anyway, I keep stopping. The trouble is, I get to feeling sorry for them. I mean most girls are so dumb and all. After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains. You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn't any brains. |
| Ne znam. Kažu mi da prestanem i ja prestanem. Uvek zažalim zbog toga, kad ih otpratim kući, ali svejedno to i dalje radim. | I don't know. They tell me to stop, so I stop. I always wish I hadn't, after I take them home, but I keep doing it anyway. |
| Sve u svemu, dok sam ponovo oblačio čistu košulju, nešto sam kao smislio da je to, u neku ruku, moja velika šansa. Ako je ona kao prostitutka i sve, smislio sam da bih mogao malo da se izvežbam na njoj, za slučaj da se ikad oženim ili nešto. | Anyway, while I was putting on another clean shirt, I sort of figured this was my big chance, in a way. I figured if she was a prostitute and all, I could get in some practice on her, in case I ever get married or anything. |
| Brinem ponekad zbog takvih stvari. Čitao sam jednom neku knjigu u Hutonu, u kojoj je opisan neki krajnje rafiniran i uglađen bonvivan. | I worry about that stuff sometimes. I read this book once, at the Whooton School, that had this very sophisticated, suave, sexy guy in it. |
| Zvao se mesje Blanšar, i sad se sećam. Knjiga je bila bezvezna, ali taj Blanšar uopšte nije bio loš. | Monsieur Blanchard was his name, I can still remember. It was a lousy book, but this Blanchard guy was pretty good. |
| Imao je veliki zamak na rivijeri, u Evropi, i sve svoje slobodno vreme mlatio je žene štapom. Bio je pravi razvratnik i sve, ali žene su bukvalno ludele za njim. | He had this big château and all on the Riviera, in Europe, and all he did in his spare time was beat women off with a club. He was a real rake and all, but he knocked women out. |
| Rekao je, najednom mestu, da je žensko telo kao violina, i da je potreban fenomenalan muzičar da bi na njemu svirao kako valja. | He said, in this one part, that a woman's body is like a violin and all, and that it takes a terrific musician to play it right. |
| Krajnje banalna knjiga - svestan sam toga - ali svejedno mi ne izlazi iz glave to sa violinom. U neku ruku, zato sam kao hteo da se malo izvežbam, za slučaj da se ikad oženim. Kolfild i njegova čudesna violina, ljudi moji. Banalno je, znam, ali nije previše banalno. | It was a very corny book―I realize that―but I couldn't get that violin stuff out of my mind anyway. In a way, that's why I sort of wanted to get some practice in, in case I ever get married. Caulfield and his Magic Violin, boy. It's corny, I realize, but it isn't too corny. |
| Ne bi mi smetalo da budem neki maher u tim stvarima. Kad se privatavam s nekom devojkom, ako baš hoćete da znate, dobar deo vremena se stravično mučim samo da pronađem ono što tražim, ako znate na šta mislim. | I wouldn't mind being pretty good at that stuff. Half the time, if you really want to know the truth, when I'm horsing around with a girl, I have a helluva lot of trouble just finding what I'm looking for, for God's sake, if you know what I mean. |
| Uzmimo, recimo, tu devojku s kojom sam zamalo imao seksualni odnos, o čemu sam vam pričao. Trebalo mije oko sat vremena samo da joj skinem prokleti brushalter. Kad sam joj ga najzad skinuo, bila je već spremna da me pljune. | Take this girl that I just missed having sexual intercourse with, that I told you about. It took me about an hour to just get her goddam brassiere off. By the time I did get it off, she was about ready to spit in my eye. |
| Na kraju, samo sam hodao po sobi i čekao da se ta prostitutka pojavi. I dalje sam se nadao da će biti zgodna. Ali nije mi bilo toliko važno. | Anyway, I kept walking around the room, waiting for this prostitute to show up. I kept hoping she'd be good-looking. I didn't care too much, though. |
| Samo sam hteo da to nekako okončam. Najzad, neko je zakucao na vrata i, kad sam pošao da ih otvorim, kofer mi se našao nasred puta pa sam pao preko njega i zamalo skršio koleno. | I sort of just wanted to get it over with. Finally, somebody knocked on the door, and when I went to open it, I had my suitcase right in the way and I fell over it and damn near broke my knee. |
| Uvek izaberem najpogodniji trenutak da padnem preko kofera ili nečega. | I always pick a gorgeous time to fall over a suitcase or something. |
| Kad sam otvorio vrata, ugledao sam tu devojku. Bila je u nekom kratkom kaputiću, bez šešira. Nešto kao plavuša, ali videlo se da farba kosu. | When I opened the door, this prostitute was standing there. She had a polo coat on, and no hat. She was sort of a blonde, but you could tell she dyed her hair. |
| Ipak, uopšte nije bila olupina. "Kako ste", rekoh. Maksimalno učtivo, ljudi moji. | She wasn't any old bag, though. "How do you do," I said. Suave as hell, boy. |
| "Ti si taj što mi je Moris rekao?" upitala me. Nije baš delovala ljubazno ili nešto. | "You the guy Maurice said?" she asked me. She didn't seem too goddam friendly. |
| "Onaj momak iz lifta?" | "Is he the elevator boy?" |
| "Aha", rekla je. | "Yeah," she said. |
| "Da, ja sam. Izvoli, što ne uđeš?" rekoh. Postajao sam sve nonšalantniji. Bez zezanja. | "Yes, I am. Come in, won't you?" I said. I was getting more and more nonchalant as it went along. I really was. |
| Ušla je, odmah skinula kaput i kao bacila ga na krevet. Na sebi je imala neku zelenu haljinu. | She came in and took her coat off right away and sort of chucked it on the bed. She had on a green dress underneath. |
| Onda je nekako bočno sela na stolicu pored pisaćeg stola i počela da klati nogom gore-dole. Prekrstila je noge i samo klatila nogom gore-dole. | Then she sort of sat down sideways on the chair that went with the desk in the room and started jiggling her foot up and down. She crossed her legs and started jiggling this one foot up and down. |
| Bila je veoma nervozna, za prostitutku. Najozbiljnije. Valjda zbog toga što je bila užasno mlada. | She was very nervous, for a prostitute. She really was. I think it was because she was young as hell. |
| Bila je negde mojih godina. Seo sam u tu veliku fotelju pored nje i ponudio joj cigaretu. "Ne pušim", rekla je. Imala je neki tanušni dečji glasić. | She was around my age. I sat down in the big chair, next to her, and offered her a cigarette. "I don't smoke," she said. She had a tiny little wheeny-whiny voice. |
| Jedva se čuo. Osim toga, uopšte nije govorila hvala kad biste je ponudili nečim. Jednostavno nije znala takve stvari. | You could hardly hear her. She never said thank you, either, when you offered her something. She just didn't know any better. |
| "Dozvoli da ti se predstavim. Ja sam Džim Stil", rekoh. | "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jim Steele," I said. |
| "Imaš li neki sat?" rekla je. Naravno, uopšte je nije interesovalo kako se kog đavola zovem. "Ej, koliko je tebi uopšte godina?" | "Ya got a watch on ya?" she said. She didn't care what the hell my name was, naturally. "Hey, how old are you, anyways?" |
| "Meni? Dvadeset dve." | "Me? Twenty-two." |
| "Malo sutra." | "Like fun you are." |
| Smešno je bilo reći tako nešto. Baš kao da govori neko dete. Očekivali biste da neka prostitutka kaže: "Đavola imaš", ili: "Ne kenjaj" umesto: "Malo sutra". | It was a funny thing to say. It sounded like a real kid. You'd think a prostitute and all would say "Like hell you are" or "Cut the crap" instead of "Like fun you are." |
| "Koliko je tebi godina?" upitao sam je. | "How old are you?" I asked her. |
| "Dovoljno da znam bolje od tebe", rekla je. Bila je neviđeno duhovita. "Imaš li neki sat?" ponovo me pitala, a onda ustala i svukla haljinu preko glave. | "Old enough to know better," she said. She was really witty. "Ya got a watch on ya?" she asked me again, and then she stood up and pulled her dress over her head. |
| Baš sam se čudno osećao kad je to uradila. Mislim, tako naglo je to uradila, a onda je sela. | I certainly felt peculiar when she did that. I mean she did it so sudden and all. |
| Znam da bi trebalo da se napališ kad neko ustane i svuče haljinu preko glave, ali ja nisam. Sve sam drugo bio osim na-paljen. Pre sam bio potišten nego što sam bio napaljen. | I know you're supposed to feel pretty sexy when somebody gets up and pulls their dress over their head, but I didn't. Sexy was about the last thing I was feeling. I felt much more depressed than sexy. |
| "Imaš li neki sat, ej!" | "Ya got a watch on ya, hey?" |
| "Ne. Ne, nemam." Ljudi moji, kako sam se čudno osećao. "Kako se zoveš?" upitao sam je. Bila je samo u nekom roze kombineu. Baš je bilo neprijatno. Najozbiljnije. | "No. No, I don't," I said. Boy, was I feeling peculiar. "What's your name?" I asked her. All she had on was this pink slip. It was really quite embarrassing. It really was. |
| "Sani", rekla je. "Hoćemo li, ej?" | "Sunny," she said. "Let's go, hey." |
| "Zar nisi raspoložena da malo popričamo?" upitao sam je. Detinjasto je bilo reći tako nešto, ali baš sam se čudno osećao. "Jesi li u velikoj žurbi?" | "Don't you feel like talking for a while?" I asked her. It was a childish thing to say, but I was feeling so damn peculiar. "Are you in a very big hurry?" |
| Pogledala me kao da sam neki luđak. "Šta bi kog đavola pričao?" rekla je. | She looked at me like I was a madman. "What the heck ya wanna talk about?" she said. |
| "Ne znam. Ništa posebno. Samo sam mislio da si možda raspoložena da malo popričamo." | "I don't know. Nothing special. I just thought perhaps you might care to chat for a while." |
| Opet je sela na stolicu pored pisaćeg stola. Ali nije joj bilo po volji, videlo se. Ponovo je počela da klati nogom - ljudi moji, nervozne li devojke. | She sat down in the chair next to the desk again. She didn't like it, though, you could tell. She started jiggling her foot again―boy, she was a nervous girl. |
| "Jesi li sad za cigaretu?" rekoh. Zaboravio sam da ne puši. | "Would you care for a cigarette now?" I said. I forgot she didn't smoke. |
| "Ne pušim. Slušaj, ako je tebi do priče, ti pričaj. Imam još puno posla." | "I don't smoke. Listen, if you're gonna talk, do it. I got things to do." |
| Nisam mogao da smislim ništa o čemu bih pričao. Hteo sam da je pitam kako je postala prostitutka i sve, ali nisam se usudio. Ionako mi najverovatnije ne bi rekla. | I couldn't think of anything to talk about, though. I thought of asking her how she got to be a prostitute and all, but I was scared to ask her. She probably wouldn't've told me anyway. |
| "Ti nisi iz Njujorka, zar ne?" najzad sam rekao. To je sve što sam uspeo da smislim. | "You don't come from New York, do you?" I said finally. That's all I could think of. |
| "Iz Holivuda", rekla je. Onda je ustala i prešla do kreveta na kome je ostavila haljinu. "Imaš li neki ofinger? Neću da mi se haljina izgužva. Tek sam je obukla." | "Hollywood," she said. Then she got up and went over to where she'd put her dress down, on the bed. "Ya got a hanger? I don't want to get my dress all wrinkly. It's brand-clean." |
| "Naravno", odmah sam rekao. Bilo mi je jako drago što mogu da ustanem i uradim nešto. Poneo sam haljinu do plakara i okačio je. Čudno je bilo. | "Sure," I said right away. I was only too glad to get up and do something. I took her dress over to the closet and hung it up for her. It was funny. |
| Rastužilo me nekako dok sam je kačio. Zamišljao sam je kako odlazi u radnju i kupuje tu haljinu, a niko u radnji ne zna da je ona prostitutka i sve. | It made me feel sort of sad when I hung it up. I thought of her going in a store and buying it, and nobody in the store knowing she was a prostitute and all. |
| Prodavač je verovatno mislio da je ona neka obična devojka. To me gadno rastužilo - ne znam baš tačno zašto. | The salesman probably just thought she was a regular girl when she bought it. It made me feel sad as hell―I don't know why exactly. |
| Ponovo sam seo i pokušao da nastavim razgovor. Nije baš bila pričljiva. "Radiš li svake noći?" upitao sam je - zvučalo je nekako odvratno kad sam to rekao. | I sat down again and tried to keep the old conversation going. She was a lousy conversationalist. "Do you work every night?" I asked her―it sounded sort of awful, after I'd said it. |
| "Aha." Špartala je po čitavoj sobi. Uzela je jelovnik sa stola i čitala ga. | "Yeah." She was walking all around the room. She picked up the menu off the desk and read it. |
| "Šta radiš danju?" | "What do you do during the day?" |
| Samo je kao slegla ramenima. Bila je prilično mršava. "Spavam. Idem na filmove." Spustila je jelovnik i pogledala me. "Hoćemo li, ej? Nemam čitavu..." | She sort of shrugged her shoulders. She was pretty skinny. "Sleep. Go to the show." She put down the menu and looked at me. "Let's go, hey. I haven't got all―" |
| "Slušaj", rekoh. "Nisam baš nešto u formi noćas. | "Look," I said. "I don't feel very much like myself tonight. I've had a rough night. |
| Imao sam tešku noć, kunem se. Platiću ti i sve, ali nemoj mnogo da mi zameriš ako to ne uradimo. Nećeš da mi zameriš?" Problem je bio što mi se to uopšte nije radilo. | Honest to God. I'll pay you and all, but do you mind very much if we don't do it? Do you mind very much?" The trouble was, I just didn't want to do it. |
| Bio sam previše deprimiran da bih bio napaljen, ako baš hoćete da znate. Ona me deprimirala. | I felt more depressed than sexy, if you want to know the truth. She was depressing. |
| Njena zelena haljina okačena u plakaru i sve. Osim toga, ne verujem da bih to ikada mogao da radim s nekom devojkom koja po ceo dan sedi u glupom bioskopu. Najozbiljnije. | Her green dress hanging in the closet and all. And besides, I don't think I could ever do it with somebody that sits in a stupid movie all day long. I really don't think I could. |
| Prišla mi je, s nekim čudnim izrazom na licu, kao da mi ne veruje. "U čemu je problem?" rekla je. | She came over to me, with this funny look on her face, like as if she didn't believe me. "What'sa matter?" she said. |
| "Ni u čemu." Ljudi moji, stvarno sam postajao nervozan. "Problem je u tome što sam nedavno operisan." | "Nothing's the matter." Boy, was I getting nervous. "The thing is, I had an operation very recently." |
| "Jel'?A gde to?" | "Yeah? Where?" |
| "Na mom - kako se ono zvaše - klavikordu." | "On my wuddayacallit―my clavichord." |
| "Je l'? Gde mu to dođe?" | "Yeah? Where the hell's that?" |
| "Klavikord?" rekoh. "U suštini, ovaj, to je negde u kičmenom stubu. Mislim, to je sasvim negde dole u kičmenom stubu." | "The clavichord?" I said. "Well, actually, it's in the spinal canal. I mean it's quite a ways down in the spinal canal." |
| "Je l'?" rekla je. "Baš nezgodno." Onda mi je najednom sela u krilo "Sladak si." | "Yeah?" she said. "That's tough." Then she sat down on my goddam lap. "You're cute." |
| Toliko me nervirala da sam samo nastavio da je lažem. "Još se oporavljam", rekoh. | She made me so nervous, I just kept on lying my head off. "I'm still recuperating," I told her. |
| "Izgledaš kao lik sa filma. Znaš. Onaj neki. Znaš na koga mislim. Kako se ono zvaše?" | "You look like a guy in the movies. You know. Whosis. You know who I mean. What the heck's his name?" |
| "Ne znam", rekoh. Nikako da mi se skloni sa prokletog krila. | "I don't know," I said. She wouldn't get off my goddam lap. |
| "Ma znaš. Igrao je u onom filmu s Melvin Daglasom? Onaj što je bio mladi brat Melvin Daglasa? Što je ispao iz onog čamca? Znaš na koga mislim." | "Sure you know. He was in that pitcher with Mel-vine Douglas? The one that was Mel-vine Douglas's kid brother? That falls off this boat? You know who I mean." |
| "Ne, ne znam. Izbegavam bioskop." | "No, I don't. I go to the movies as seldom as I can." |
| Onda je počela da izvodi nešto. Onako sirovo i sve. | Then she started getting funny. Crude and all. |
| "Da li bi htela da prestaneš s tim?" rekoh. "Nisam raspoložen, rekao sam ti. Nedavno sam operisan." | "Do you mind cutting it out?" I said. "I'm not in the mood, I just told you. I just had an operation." |
| Nije ustala s mog krila ili nešto, ali mi je uputila neki potresno kvaran pogled. "Slušaj", rekla je. "Spavala sam kad me onaj ludi Moris probudio. Ako misliš da sam..." | She didn't get up from my lap or anything, but she gave me this terrifically dirty look. "Listen," she said. "I was sleepin' when that crazy Maurice woke me up. If you think I'm―" |
| Rekao sam da ću ti platiti što si došla i sve. Bez zezanja. Imam para. Samo, problem je što se tek oporavljam posle vrlo ozbiljne..." | "I said I'd pay you for coming and all. I really will. I have plenty of dough. It's just that I'm practically just recovering from a very serious―" |
| "Zbog kog si onda đavola rekao onom ludom Morisu da ti treba devojka?Ako si već imao neku operaciju na tom tvom - kako se zvaše. A?" | "What the heck did you tell that crazy Maurice you wanted a girl for, then? If you just had a goddam operation on your goddam wuddayacallit. Huh?" |
| "Mislio sam da ću mnogo bolje da se osećam. Malo sam se prebacio. Bez zezanja. Stvarno mi je žao. Ako ustaneš na sekund, uzeću novčanik. Ozbiljno." | "I thought I'd be feeling a lot better than I do. I was a little premature in my calculations. No kidding. I'm sorry. If you'll just get up a second, I'll get my wallet. I mean it." |
| Bila je užasno ljuta, ali ustala mi je s prokletog krila, tako da sam mogao da odem i uzmem novčanik sa komode. Izvadio sam novčanicu od pet dolara i dao joj. "Mnogo ti hvala", rekoh. "Stvarno sam ti zahvalan." | She was sore as hell, but she got up off my goddam lap so that I could go over and get my wallet off the chiffonier. I took out a five-dollar bill and handed it to her. "Thanks a lot," I told her. "Thanks a million." |
| "Ovo je pet. To košta deset." | "This is a five. It costs ten." |
| Počela je da zeza, očigledno. Bojao sam se da će tako nešto da se desi - najozbiljnije. | She was getting funny, you could tell. I was afraid something like that would happen―I really was. |
| "Moris je rekao pet. Rekao je petnaest do podne i samo pet za jednom." | "Maurice said five," I told her. "He said fifteen till noon and only five for a throw." |
| "Deset za jednom." | "Ten for a throw." |
| "Rekao je pet. Žao mi je - ozbiljno - ali to je sve što ću da platim." | "He said five. I'm sorry―I really am―but that's all I'm gonna shell out." |
| Samo je slegla ramenima, kao i ono ranije, a onda veoma hladno rekla: "Mogu li da dobijem moju haljinu? | She sort of shrugged her shoulders, the way she did before, and then she said, very cold, "Do you mind getting me my frock? |
| Ili je to možda problem?" Prilično nezgodna mala. | Or would it be too much trouble?" She was a pretty spooky kid. |
| Čak i sa tim tanušnim glasićem mogla je pomalo da te isprepada. | Even with that little bitty voice she had, she could sort of scare you a little bit. |
| Da je bila neka debela stara prostitutka, s masom šminke na licu i sve, ne bi bila ni upola tako nezgodna. | If she'd been a big old prostitute, with a lot of makeup on her face and all, she wouldn't have been half as spooky. |
| Otišao sam do plakara i izvadio joj haljinu. Navukla je i sve, a onda uzela svoj kaputić s kreveta. "Zbogom, štakore", rekla je. | I went and got her dress for her. She put it on and all, and then she picked up her polo coat off the bed. "So long, crumb-bum," she said. |
| "Zbogom", rekoh. Nisam joj zahvalio ili nešto. Drago mi je što nisam. | "So long," I said. I didn't thank her or anything. I'm glad I didn't. |